This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
