so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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