Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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