I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
