she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
