I am spending my child support on dildos
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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