I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
