Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
