i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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