please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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