you're like a bully in the Christmas story
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
