next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
