She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
