i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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