I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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