it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
