shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
