No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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