i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
