; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
God, I missed his penis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
