If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
