Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
