her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
