She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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