you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
