i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize