i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
