let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
