I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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