is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You can't special order awesome
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
