just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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