i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
