you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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