A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize