I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
