Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
