He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
