just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
