just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
