he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
