well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
