Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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