if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
