Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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