no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
