I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
