What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
