i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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