Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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