Don't make out with my wife yet
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
