In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
