Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
