I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He better not be in your backpack
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
